Spring has spring, grass has riz...let's see how bad this season iz...(sorry, poor attempt at hip-hop)

I decided that I probably should write on here again sometime...it has been a while, and I did go through all that trouble to set the darn thing up. I will admit that it took me forever to find the exact spot on my blog to write another blog--ok, I must be aging much faster than I thought!!

Spring has sprung...yea--and boo!!! Yea because the earth is beautiful again, grass is greening, flowers are blooming, birds are singing...all that Hallmark jazz. Boo because that means shorts and swimsuits. You ladies know what I mean don't you...we won't even discuss buying a new swimsuit--I do believe that one day we will discover that Hitler had a hand in inventing this tortureous creation--argh!!! There is nothing fun, rewarding and even the slightest bit exhilarating about having to sqeeze into the uni-boob-creating/fully-shaved-leg-necessitating/thigh-cutting/cellulite-showing monstrosity that anyone over 35 really shouldn't enjoy!!! The only person that I know that actually looks good in a swimsuit is my daughter, and she is young and still perky ;-) (who also may be up for adoption by the end of the season--grrrr)

I am not sure I even put on shorts last summer--capri pants are my friend. According to the fashion rags, I am too short to wear capris--bull-hockey!! Nobody is too short--look at them, they are not even long!!! Who cares if they cut you off at the ankles--those are my ankles--which is right directly above my foot--as in one of the smallest parts on my body--isn't that what one would want to be seen???!!! Seriously folks, who writes this stuff?! There is nothing, and I do mean nothing, that will make me look tall and slender like Gisele or Heidi--the pants are the least of my worries! The one problem with wearing capris though is the that my legs are about as white as an Aspen mountaintop. That, my friend, is not a sight to behold. Ew!!!

Guess that means that I better join the long line of teenagers who are avidly preparing for prom by lying in those hot, sweating, plastic beds. I used to relax (and actually fall asleep) when I went tanning. Now, not so much. I am usually twisting my body in some pretzel fashion to check and see if the little digital numbers are actually getting smaller. Maybe if they made the beds so that somehow you are lying on a pile of sand with a salty ocean breeze blowing over crashing waves, I might enjoy it--know what I mean? Sigh--another post for another day...

I guess I will go home tonight and go for a walk...and enjoy the grass, sprouting flowers and singing birds...in my kinda-short pants.