Yesterday was a sad day. Farrah lost her battle with cancer, Michael lost his battle with the struggle he called life...and I had an epiphany about my life that makes my throat tight and tears well up (unfortunately, this is not one that I am ready to share).
So, late morning we hear the tragic news that Farrah had passed away. I do hope that she had made piece with the Lord. She had plenty of time to prepare. She led a sun-kissed life, was a beautiful lady, but if she didn't cross those pearly gates...then it was worthless.
I did not watch the special that was on TV recently depicting the pain and struggle that she has gone through. I am one of these people that really do prefer to remember someone in the better days of their lives. I have twice visited friends who were battling the big-C ( both have since lost) and caught vomit either in my hand or a tray...and though I was happy to do that for them, I was not happy that it had to be done in the first place...darn those dreaded cells full of disease! I would much rather wear my rose colored glasses and recall the "good ole days"--so what,...shoot me.
As the world began to grieve for the poster-queen, then came the big shock. Michael Jackson had also passed away. Wha????
There has already been so much said about the musical genius of this man, and just as much said about the troubled life that he led. He didn't have time to prepare for the end...so I truly hope that he was ready.
Years ago I read a book titled "Orion" (based loosely on Elvis) about a rock star who faked his own death to escape the hell that he felt he lived in. This was written even before internet...so that tells you how times have changed and the added pressure a star would have now. Has this been implied anywhere? Naw, not that I know of...but if I were hundreds of millions of dollars in debt...I'm just saying.
Of course I, along with roughly 45 million other people, had the Thriller album--it was high school for me (I do miss the 80's). This was also the time that Michael was actually cute (need I say more?). Oh, stars fade quickly, don't they? One of my most vivid memories was my reaction to his filming of a Pepsi commercial when his hair caught on fire. I was not a diary keeper...but a number of years ago, I found a calendar/journal or something where I had noted that tragic day...and my horror at it all. I could just feel his pain...couldn't you? But now as I watch people weeping and crying over the loss of this icon, I don't feel that pain. I just feel sadness. Sadness for the lonely, reclusive strange man that he felt that he had to become. Sadness for the children and family that he is leaving behind. Sadness for the loss of a soul that was so tortured and pained that he turned to a number of anedotes to ease his suffering. In the end, it only brought the conclusion to his saga that much quicker.
Sorry Farrah that your loss will go virtually unnoticed in the chaotic hub-bub that is Michael Jackson's funeral. Sorry that your name will barely make the ticker across the CNN screen, while his will fill nearly every channel to be flipped to. Sorry that your battle will not be chronicalized as important, and his will be idolized. But somewhere- everywhere there are men and women who died yesterday of similar circumstances as these two people, and they will be missed by their friends and family also. Social and iconic status is stripped away and each and every person appears before the Lord the exact same way...all will be judged the same...but not all will have the same results. I know what group I would rather be like...
God Bless.
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